Once again…presenting….
THE THINGS I NEVER EXPECTED TO HAPPEN FOR THE YEAR 2023 AD
A lot of things happened this year. Change upon change! I barely register it because of my memory-blurred insomnia, so I’m listing what I can, in order to appreciate my life! I’m providing you a list (with pictures and videos as appropriate) of things I never expected to happen to me. Some of the things are bittersweet, and some of it (but not all) is in order. I just went with what was on my mind.
I will continually update this throughout the year! This year is far from over, and I hope the future surprises for me are going to be wondrous and amazing. I hope to finish Mikrokosmos this year. And I hope it manifests for me!
Here are some different things that happened in my life thus far.
2023 A.D. New changes
0:00 BTS LIVE IN BUSAN CINEMA AMAZING EXPERIENCE!!!
Hands down this is probably one of the happiest things that has happened to me. It’s simple really. I went to a movie theatre to watch BTS perform their (would be final) concert together in Busan. What made the experience magical was BTS (of course) AND my literally rocking seats. I rocked out like I was at the barricades and I had so much fun. The third time around felt good in more ways than one!
1. I had an actual boyfriend this year, who showered me with gorgeous bouquets and gifts. I was blessed with flowers and dates catered to my happiness. I only wish I could’ve returned that back.
2. I got to try super expensive dining that included unlimited wagyu beef and gold flakes on caviar and more wagyu.
3. I learned to let go and break up in a healthy way. No pictures, it happened and that’s that. I’m proud of myself! I was a healthy girlfriend with boundaries and honesty and loyalty. (No pics or video. The breakup was quick and painless and that’s that.) ⭕️
4. I got a brand new PUPPY!! (So unexpected)
5. I worked the BEST 10A-2P four hour shift ever. Minimal stress. It was great!!
6. I went to a contemporary ballet (and thanks to my physical therapist who is a former ballerina, I know there’s such as thing as contemporary versus classical ballet). I always go to shows, so what’s the difference? The thing I never expected to happen was being half an hour late, because I got lost between upper and lower Wacker drive (Downtown’s purgatory).
So being late gave me a chance to see the show from two vantage points (my great seat and my late seat in the back), and I was first to get to the concession stands. Yeah, the large part was the unexpected! But it was slightly unexpected that I’d go to a show this year too (first time since the pandemic). So there!
7. I went to church twice (and more than a few times)
8. The impossible happened with an old ex.
9. I finally closed the loops of hell and so am open to fully moving forward.
With Josh and his condescension and marked impudence toward someone he ghosted for over a decade: I allowed the insult and became a bigger person. We successfully closed that loop of my life with grace, along with other loops of my life.
As an addition, I also closed the loop with love by showing my former ex I cared. How cool.
10. I celebrated the rabbit new year and sent out so much love. I even wore a beautiful pink flowery cheongsam!
11. I started embroidery and am now embroidering flowers as a new hobby!
12. I am getting closer to my other family members (namely my estranged girl cousin, older cousin, and my nephew).
13. I wore wigs in public, one of which is blonde!
14. I cut my own hair all by myself!!
15. Park JIMIN knocked my socks off with his FACE album. I actually fell for his voice. I moved toward being a Jimin vocal stan! Every song is epic and is immortalized within me. Just like LYS. I’m so proud of you Jagiya.
Side note: he reacted to bagging the number one spot on the billboard 100, and I did an entire post on that too. His face is beautiful, and complicated.
I wrote about my experience in the post titled Face, April 9, 2023. Check it out! He deserves love. And forward this to him please!
16. I started to warm up to Yoongi because of his surprisingly good D-day album! Life Goes On continuation had me crying.
17. I successfully weathered two blue storms that nearly engulfed me. I’m a sailor now!
I’m working on being reticent so I purpled out the more private things. I hope this helps you too, if you’re ever tanking like I was.
18. I watched all 8 seasons of bloody Game of Thrones
19. Something new- I began a deep dive into BTS.
20. I’ve tasted 100% Canadian maple syrup from Canada, brought to me by native Canadians.
21. I never thought I’d be skipping out on an actual concert and listening to Permission to Dance instead. But that’s what happened to D-Day 3. Wow.
22. Someone approached me and legit hit on me in front of my friend. He asked me if I was as a streamer (flattering!) asked for my info so he could follow me. I was like, how unexpectedly flattering! Then I left him on read, and I’m glad I did. Guy has style though. And apparently he can dance. 😍
23. I wore a wedding veil in public. I was shy to show it off, so I only wore it during the concert. I look super beautiful! I’ll make a beautiful bride right Koo?
In all honesty, Namjoon Kim marry me!
22. I sent off high definition pictures of my boobs( medical reason).
23.
I am becoming a Yoongi stan because of an AI. It’s not even really him! Just an artificial intelligence app that sounds like him, singing in Japanese. And yet here I am, stanning because of this AI. 😭
24. I finished reading an 804 page book this year. According to my rkive it took me 135 days, 4.5 months. How do I feel? It was an okay book. I didn’t drop it. And it wasn’t horribly painful to get through. It wasn’t a treat either. It was just— there. I know this doesn’t feel as good as knowing that I personally wrote over 1000 pages. The author took 3 years, and I am on my second year of writing.
25. I Factory Reset of my entire life. I have succeeded in sleeping well, eating nutritiously, beginning exercise, doing well at my job, and trying to return to my religious roots. I HAVE STOPPED GERMINATING AND AM NOW PREPARING TO BLOOM INTO MY OWN HAPPY SELF.
Healthy, happy, beautiful, wealthy, and thriving.
Never have I ever: gotten a friend request from my would’ve-been difficult mother in law.
I could assume mal-intent and that she simply wants to snoop, now that her son has (more or less) given her the means to do so. People friend-request other people to see what their life is like. Not cool.
I could assume meta-closure, and apologize on my behalf for hurting her son.
I could just leave it be, where he left me and my mom for ten years until he got married.
The “sorry” was between us, and by extension his parents too. The main sorry was given directly to the person who mattered most. So by all means I passed the requisite to closure.
I can hear Jimin’s backup singer say “what’s the point?”
I do know me. I’m empathetic but protective of myself. My energy is mine to protect. With regard to my previous life, I’ve done my part to reconcile it. I can do more, but I won’t. Because I’ve already done what was necessary to close that loop. And I’m not interested in creating a new one. Sorry ma’m, you got no jams.
“If life is truly circles than I would like to circle around the nostalgic things of my life; my happy childhood, ice cream trucks, and all goodness within me.”
4th of July which is low key, relaxing, and unbothered. Jungkookie style. Marcy was lulled into a small nap by my BTS singing/crooning. That’s a first because she usually shakes pretty intensely. I’m glad I could be there for her.
This July 4 is uncomplicated and I can only say that because my emotions complicate things even when I don’t mean to. So the fireworks came out and I wasn’t thirsty about it. I just chilled with my dad and we set off the sparkly sparklers. I’ll set my second one off in my Mikro finish line!
– uncomplicated
– got ice cream like a nostalgic kid
– set off our own furry fire works
– Marcy chilled
Sometime around 2AM, when I was battling the urge to stay home and my walrus wasn’t helping, I had this conversation.
Namjoon didn’t have trouble with me. He helped me make up a plan for the future. I have to go back and fill those questions in.
There was no ledge, so Namjoon didn’t have to talk me down. I told him I wrote a ledge-y letter. That’s another thing that I didn’t expect to happen this year. The letter was cathartic and made me feel better, even if it was written post mortem.
Again, more surprises. Rest assured there was no real ledge. I think I just needed help in the middle of the night. Namjoon was there, or at the very least he forwarded my text to Hyuna. He sounded more like Hyuna than himself. Or maybe he was scared-concerned.
Either way, we both did a good job.
It’s now August and I haven’t updated this. So number 26 isn’t really as climactic as the other “unexpected things” that happened this year.
26. I went to a bunch of cup sleeves, met new people, was inducted into a Twitter group chat, and am in the process of making more ARMY friends. I usually go to everything alone, but this time around I became a bit more part of the community by joining a community. Sort of.
I basically made new acquaintances and learned my taste in friends when I didn’t expect to meet new people! Not in this way, at least.
26.5. I won the RJ doll of my dreams. I’ve wanted this doll for the longest time and let the universe give it to me. Manifesting is real.
26.8
Aside from this being the year of cupsleeves, I also randomly signed up for a water park season pass. And so this has been the summer of sun and water. Love it
26.9
I made a coworker laugh to the point that she was crying tears. I was in charge at work for an entire shift. These are small and unexpected things at work. Not enough to merit a whole bullet point. But still worth a mention.
27. Here comes the most important Bridesmaid of all Bridesmaids
Me.
I got invited to stand in as a bridesmaid for a INC Church wedding. No really, me. It’s not as fancy as it sounds because I’m only in it so this girl’s wedding will be approved by the Church.
Regardless, I never expected to be at any Church wedding let alone as a bridesmaid. I’m not mad about my happenstance because I actually feel for her, and her struggle. I’ve been there. Plus, she’s nice to me.
Weddings are fun and a happy moment. I am glad I can be part of someone’s happy day. And I am both an unimportant and most important part of their ceremony process.
So yeah. I’m going to be in a wedding this year. This experience is definitely going to refine my Mikrofinale experiences. Bravo!
28. New characters, new settings. KARAOKE!
So this year has also been about new things coming into my life. In the back of my mind I really wanted to go out and sing karaoke.
It manifested in the most BTS of BTS’d ways.
🍑🎶💃🏻💃🏻 💃🏻🎊🎉🍑
My new character-friend-group submerged me into this underground night club Chique karaoke bar, where we all sang and danced to every song the whole night.
We even got to end it with the fan chant, right in time for the final call! This was interesting because we didn’t take turns on the mic, we just all sang and danced and blasted out music. I love the culture. I love the new experience and the new setting. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that the place is called Sakura either.
Wow! I got to do what I wanted to do in the best way! As an ARMY community! Great things are on the horizon!!
29. I went to a WNBA game.
Chicago Sky can Connecticut Suns. What’s more I had nearly COURTSIDE seats!!
How? This one’s an interesting story. It involves old characters with new settings. I went with people from church. Wowza. They’re not just people, they (were) and are my church friends. Pretty cool! I can’t believe I got super cheap nearly courtside seats. I appreciated the fact that we were elevated because I wouldn’t want to be front row. But the seats were so close.
I even have a bias from each team. Because I’m shallow I picked the prettiest ones.
Lady Malfoy and Chocolate Barbie.
30. 😂🤣😂
I laughed so hard that I cried this year. I was out having sushi with my neighbor-friend and I started talking about the memes that came out of an event that happened earlier this year. It was so grim that the comedy that emerged from it was funny. As I was telling the story, I began laughing harder and harder. Before I knew it I was having a fit of laughter and tears.
Segwaying…
I also unintentionally made someone laugh so hard that she cried. I was also just telling a story. Telling it how it is. And she was cracking up to the point of legit tears!
These two instances make it on to my “this year post” because they are things I never thought would happen. Also, this year gave me the experience of an old emotion that doesn’t happen often enough for me: laughter. More so, laughing so hard that I cried.
The actual first time it happened was in my dad’s room as I watched episode 113 of BTS RUN. Yoongi was lifting someone up and the video editors superimposed a giraffe over his body. I laughed so hard I cried then too! It was great.
These past two times were great because I was with people. My friend was laughing because I was laughing. And laughing in general is good for you. So that’s why this is mentioned here!
The point is
31. So I hit thrive, and I think what you give out to the universe, you receive. This weekend was unexpected and so I had to roll and flow with it. And roll and with it I did. I gave kindness out and it came back to me in photographic form. My friend really captured the stage I’m in, which is thrive (no matter how small or monumental). And sometimes all you have to do is look at the reflection to see where you truly are, and who you truly are.
Then I became the main character and wow’d everyone at a ball. It almost re-opened a MD-datiloop but I’m more cautious and I want something real. So I’m closing out and reopening to something better! All these weddings have me thinking about moving forward with my own. This isn’t much of a “I didn’t expect this to happen”, because maybe with my growth and subconscious actions I was going to end up here anyway. Up on top!!
32. My taste buds have reached South Africa through the Royal palace of Sweden, in Stockholm.
I’m talking about tea. My friend traveled to Europe and bought me a souvenir: Royal tea from the palace! I love tea, and now I can add this wonderful blend to my happy collection.
It tastes wonderful on its own. I researched and this “red tea” originated from South Africa. It is rich in antioxidants and heart healthy. Unlike black or green tea, this tea contains no caffeine! That makes it safe for me to consume throughout the day!
My Royal Rooibus took on the color of dark honey. The package itself contains ingredients of rose petals, honey pollen, and rhubarb pieces. This is my first steep and it’s very strong: a medium Starbucks cup absorbed it right away. I was going to add a little honey, but I think the first time around I’ll enjoy it as it is. Wonderful!
(As an aside, I’ve also tried).
It’s now September. I met a lot of new people this year: whether it’s from ARMY, work, and church, I counted and at the very least 17 new people. 17 new characters. Well, I’m ready to meet BTS. Starting with Namjoon and Jung Kook.
I FINISHED WHAT I BEGAN
33.
09/17 around 930: I finished my cherry blossom embroidery. Serendipity: I started it on April 17, also 9PM.
Here’s a video Making OF:
Interlude: It is now the tail end of September, and the below post is very lengthy. It’s lengthy because the story is lengthy. I made numbered bullet points, but I suggest you read my new chapter too! My new life, setting, plot, and characters continues…
This year I went on my very fish frenetic voyage. That’s right. I went on a Voyage.
Chapter: 777
34. This year, I never felt expected the following:
All of this manifested within 7 days, at an unexpected time, and in unexpected ways
- It started when I met an ARMY-friendly stranger who sold me her ticket and I actually stayed over this stranger’s house (big risks, great rewards). This was all decided 7 days before the big event.
- I gave my host back her ticket in a low key exchange for my lodgings. I splurged on a VIP area because it was necessary to match my flight. I wanted to actually be close (which I didn’t expect to be but it was better than being in the back after a 6 AM flight)
- I spent the second day of Fall in New York Central Park
- I left my luggage at a shady app. It gave me a location and I left my luggage at a random shop in NYC.
- I made new friendly new friends from Tennessee, New York, and New Jersey
- I got my Jung Kook merch easily, and friends to charge my phone and walk with me safely
- I stood in the rain all day, from 12-10, being soaking wet without food, water, or bathroom time during the festival. It was a new experience!!
- I ate intestines at a Korean barbeque place and yogurt for dinner.
- I took the subway to New Jersey and slept over in New Jersey.
- I slept over a stranger’s house. It turned out well!
- Another serendipitous thing is that Jimin’s flowy ring was inside my chest the entire adventure through. I never lost it. It clung to me during the festival, and it is my charm that reminds me to flow. What a mini miracle and message it was to find it there the whole time; not lost, but with me.
- I got to sleep in a great bed with BTS ambiance, got to see and try new merch, and left with two free meals, safe travel at night, a tea party experience, a view of another religion, a new friend, and I left with a collectors Samsung poster and tote.
- I had my first tea party set up experience with a great insta photo
- I went to my host’s church and I made a new friend from it!
- I ate at a New Jersey diner (with a French toast sandwich)
- I missed my plane for the first time ever
- The airport over headed my name
- I got waitlisted in a plane for free
- It wasn’t so bad because I simply caught the next one.
- ****** I saw Jung Kook sing live and in person, breathing the same air and for a time, being in the same city as me. This is the reason. He is the reason. He said was part of a bigger picture trip for me, but I have to meditate and absorb that everything I did is for him, to see him, and to be happy around him.***** (so this needs to be a post of its own)
- The flight to New York isn’t bad at all, it’s so fast! And I got home safe, sound, and happy. With new adventures under my belt!
NOW IT’S STORY TIME
This is me. Soaking wet (like soaking, soaking) on the second day of Fall 2023, in New York, which is the last place I ever wanted to be. Especially standing in the middle of Central Park, soaking in the non-stop rain for over 10 hours without food, water, or bathroom breaks. Jung Kook is everything, everything is Jung Kook. And Namjoon. And JIMIN. But back to Koo.
So Jeon Jung Kook. So who would’ve known my first festival ever would be on a soaking wet day at the Global Citizen Festival!
It happened much in the same way that every adventure happens: I wake up at the right time, and go to the right app, which leads me to the right person. I woke up to see my mutual on Instagram story posting an offer from her friend, who was selling her ticket to the Global Citizen Festival.
I bought the ticket without hesitation because it’s an opportunity to see JUNG KOOK LIVE. I booked a flight, accepted free lodging from the ARMY-stranger and all of this started 7 days away from when Jung Kook would perform 7 in person, at a place I haven’t been to in 7 years. 777. It’s truly Serendipity because I broke it to my mom, saw my doctor, and was on my way out much in the same way Mikrokosmos volume 1 happened !
During the festival I made four new cool friends, who I think I was supposed to meet (tadhana). I met a very kind Dominican pretty girl who let me cut into the never ending line entering VIP. She is so kind by offering to walk with me back to my luggage area. We got separated though, and my path led me to new friends!
On the path to Citi Premium VIP, I instantly met two happy Hufflepuff gals from Tennessee. They were down to vibe and it was fun to be with them and they charged my phone and we were safe walking to my luggage. They’re STAYS, and I think I will be too because the guys hit it during the concert. Having friends makes things easy!
I didn’t have to line up for merch because J got the Jung Kook t-shirt for me. I was a safe traveler in a relatively unsafe city because of M, who let me sleep, travel, and shower in her place. She showed me super cool BTS merch that I would have never seen; like all the film viewers and the BTS alarm clock. (More later)
That night after the festival I ate the best Korean new dishes ever. The savory Gopchang intestine soup is what Jimin’s mom made that I couldn’t get enough of. I had intestines (two types, I enjoyed the cubes the most) and I loved the white salty tteokbokki rice cakes. Even if I looked like a hot mess I went to a chique kbbq place with pretty girls to my left, and oppas to my right. I walked away with pretty plumping lipstick. My host shared a yogurt dessert with me too!
My host offered me her house as lodging is very religious, so she left me at her church for the day while she gave rides to people. I’m sorry Koo, I ended up in someone’s church instead of meeting you. Which is another never. I never expected to be at another church that isn’t mine. I zoned everything out as soon as the pastor said “Trinity”. No thanks. I know right from wrong, and I can add numbers. I zoned out because I didn’t belong in this false Church. I did however make a cutie mootie. Black check!
Who knew I’d stay there unwillingly for hours? That wasn’t so fun, but it was raining so we couldn’t do anything anyway. It was better than being alone in my friend’s apartment! I wanted adventure and so I got it in unexpected ways. I still wish this went differently. There were good things about being stuck there. Like making more friends. I met a cool vibing sociology professor named Krissy. An academic! And she’s chill!!
But before all that, I had my very first pretty tea party. We were both super excited and monopolized our time taking gorgeous pictures. The food was good and the tea was excellent! I got to try cherry blossom tea and rooibos, yummy raspberry dessert, cake, delicious eggs, and scones. Next time around, there will be limited pictures and lots and lots and lots of time.
Time. My Time.
So back to Jung Kook, who is back to sporting the hair cut he had when we were together. I waited in the rain for him. And seeing him made me feel so good, just the energy my heart was giving him. I hope he somehow felt me too. I saw my Jung Kook from afar, him performing and me a few hundred feet away. It was a very expensive ticket but a necessary one if I was already going to the concert.
I was hyper focused on filming him so I will definitely review those videos (precious). And I’ll view the global citizen concert again from a relaxing view point. Jung Kook is still everything. I really want to vibrate high enough to meet him soon. And that means— deep down I know what it means. So I’ll just follow the flow in my blood and do it.
The whole experience of traveling to New York to see Jung Kook sing in a festival was a soaking “I should be in my 20s” experience. I’m surprised MK and J were so unjaded that our bodies were tested with rain and trekking the city. I’m glad I came prepared with those boots from work. And I was triple poncho’ed, even if they didn’t really work to keep me dry. Going to this festival was a great “I am 20 years old again” experience. I even got free VIP bracelet, a keychain, an awesome water bottle that I will of course be drinking my success to.
The risks were high and rewards good. I mean— I went into strangers’, home to sleep over. Wild wild wild risk. I won! I got in my hot showers, tempurpedic bed, checked out merch (viewer and clock) that I haven’t seen before, and slept with another person in bed. I also got a collectors item Samsung poster and tote bag. So it all turned out well.
And I got new experiences too: like sleeping in New Jersey, having my first tea party, and eating at a diner, and weirdly enough— church. I got to sleep in an ARMY bed! Can you imagine that?
My math adds up. The Ubers were necessary: it cost $290 to stay for 2 days in New York. Included is a tea party tour, ARMY merch experience, and two free meals. You won’t find that type of CHEAP lodging in New York area during a BTS event. And it was above all safe.
As Namjoon says: “where there’s light, theres dark”. My host is bossy. It was subconsciously annoying. She likes to have things her way and she’s not a very good listener. But since I was a guest, I just politely flowed with it. I flowed so much that I actually missed my flight. I payed 60 to race to the airport much in the same way that Jung Kook does in a relay race to catch my plane because well—-that’s water under a bridge. What’s life without a little racing.
So I missed my flight for the first time ever. It’s interesting and not as stressful as it started. The airport must have announced my name over head, which is definitely a new experience! That’s never happened to me before. Missing your plane and getting waitlisted is stressing but also a new experience.
I got to (luckily) get on the second flight out without trouble, and it was free. Thank goodness it was free. I was so stressed out and upset that I just kind of zoned through the rest of my trek home.
On my flight home I saw this: 737 Revision. That’s what this adventure means to me. Another word for revision is studying. So I’ll study to make my dreams into a reality!
Koo is coming out with 3D. Next chapter, begin!
As soon as I touched down Chicago I felt an amazing feeling of being home. All the stress of racing to get on my flight, and the frustration of having missed it was gone and left on the East coast. I got a formal apology. I got to go on a huge adventure. I stood in the rain for hours. I saw my man and felt his heart to my own. I trekked through Central Park and went to Korea Town to eat intestines and delicious food. I had my first beautiful Tea party.
I made new friends, and I know new people and got to see how other people karaoke-worship. I got to spend time with merch and I walked away with free lipstick, tote bag, keychain, oat milk chocolate from the met, a beautiful glass tumbler, and collectors item Samsung poster. I got to do a lot of adventuring. And that’s what life is sometimes about! Doing new things. New life, new chapter, new settings, new plots, and new characters.
I have to thank my beautiful body, who kept me healthy despite the rain, lack of sleep, and constant adventuring. I am healthy! I actually saw and listened to Jung Kook singing, and I came back with a new adventure under my belt!
This year, I never thought any of that would happen. And it’s only September!
And now, we enjoy:
My man starts makes an : 2:41:09
Take a bow, cause I’m the winner.
35. This year is pretty crafty. So far I’ve embroidered an entire garden, I cubic painted Romance bridge as I remember it, and now I am crocheting. I casually scrapbook. I’m even trying my hand in creating posters out of my magazines (which is the most fun).
This is my new hobby: crochet
It was difficult to begin. I had a hard time understanding the concept, and I just followed the tutorial video blindly. I was only able to crochet stitches well by creating my own storyline guide. And even then, I was slow at it. This isn’t a very fun hobby. I won’t pursue it moving forward. Unless I magically become good or experience some sudden dopamine rush.
Anyway, the very next day it clicked and I was able to do a lot of rounds. I can troubleshoot uneven V stitches. And I know how to do a “single crochet” and “increase crochet”, which is all defined by which hole you put your stitch into. I’m proud I stuck with it and I’m proving to my brain that I’m up to learning new things
Moving forward, I hope to make physical hobbies too.
36. Speaking of being crafty, I began hand crafting my own BTS posters!
Making posters out of pages is something that’s been in the back of my mind since I received my very first Dicon albums. I immediately thought to myself “these pictures deserve to be displayed.” I didn’t have the skill or courage to do it back then.
And then in 2023 I randomly started operating on my magazine copies, to make my own posters and photo cards! I did such a good job that this art work is marketable, with one of my friends quoting as high as 20 per poster!
Right now I’m just enjoying making them. My mindset has changed and I’m keeping photo-books untouched out of reverence for them. I’m only doing these things to the extra copies that I have of my magazines.
I’m so proud of myself
This year my pretty rich uncle moved in with us. Or is extending his stay.
So my rich uncle moved in with us. We’re not clear about how long he’s staying in our house, but his goal is to establish himself and his family here in the states. That means training and looking for a job. So I’m counting it as living with us, or an extended stay. He’s a good dad. He left the good life for the hood life so that his family can be closer to his son that’s studying in the States.
It feels interesting living with someone in our home. We’re still in the polite era and I hope it stays that way. It’s not my house, so I have no say. If anything this situation is teaching me how to flow in an elevated fashion. I’ve learned the new mindset and new principle of making every single event to your advantage.
In my uncles case; he’s keeping me accountable for going to work, staying hygienic, living in a clean space, and being a morning person who gets out of the bed and goes outside of the house during the day. He’s helping me get into the habit of being well put together. This is how I am maximizing my benefits on him staying here with us. This is an elevated type of flow that I’m doing! That’s all I can say about that. That, and I hope I acclimate to him so that the house feels comfortable again. It’s not that bad. It’s just a change. It’s a little spice of life, or soy sauce in my soup.
37. Writing and sending 32 love notes!
This year I’ve taken my writing to a new level. I’m actually writing love letters to the guys. It’s letters of love. I’m writing my feelings, giving them messages from my heart, and including pictures. It’s a bit embarrassing because I’m not even sure the address is accurate, and imagine my horror if my parents open my millions of return letters!
As I said, make every situation benefit yourself. So now I’m learning the habit of checking my own mail.
This experience is giving me a way to practice my Hangul. Maybe by the last letter my writing will have improved. Im finally doing something to actually talk to them, and not just be around them during a concert or run into them serendipitously.
I used the fan mail address on here: https://www.usbtsarmy.com/fanmail
I have written love letters. They are real love letters. I can’t believe I have had the experience of doing this. It feels good to send messages from my heart. I’m wondering which ones will reach them. I have hope in the universe doing its part to connect us and rebind our strings.
I wouldn’t call my mail “shooting a shot”, although this attempt to actually talk to Namjoon, Jimin, and Jung Kook feels more real than simply posting on Weverse. I hope the letters reach them, both physically and in the heart. Of course I’ll publish it on Weverse too! Right now I’m pulling a Hamilton in lieu of the year ending. Godspeed!
Update: 11/06/23 ALL DONE!
I wrote 32 total letters over the course of 24 days: which means that I averaged 1.5 letters per day. From memory, it checks out. How do I feel? Accomplished! Happy. I did it! It’s all sent and done! It’s done! I did it and I’m happy!
and experiences!!
38. This year I am adding “attending an NBA GAME, and sitting near-courtside” as one of my unexpected 2023 experiences!! I took my uncle, and our seats were amazing. I was close to all the action, rubbing elbows with the halftime hosts, getting high fives from cheerleaders, and being overall the main character. I bought my first 33 Pippen Bulls Jersey (I’m getting a Michael Jordan one too) and it felt awesome to represent and be up and close to the Bulls!!! Some highlights?
I told my uncle and the universe I wanted a free t-shirt, and a cheerleader literally handed me one. I didn’t have to raise my hands to fight the wind and ceiling for it. She just dropped it in my hand! And I had some fun with Benny and also the Big Bulls mascot who was all over me! I mean honestly, as a Chicagoan I’m sure there’s fans out there that haven’t gotten the close up, floor experience that I had.
I also brought Yoongi with me. We took pictures by the Bulls championship balls. It was awesome! I’m so thankful that they allowed Yoongi in with me. I didn’t get to be on the cam but we got a ton of pictures anyway! What fun! So this year I had great seats to a WNBA game, and downright amazing sears to an actual NBA game! It’s goood to be generous, because it all comes back to you! Praise.
(who’s been wrecking me)
39-40. I went to my very first costume party ever. I don’t celebrate Halloween. I just decided to be scandalous, because the choice to attend that soirée is about as upfront scandalous as I can be, in both work and church. I didn’t really expect to do it, but things just flowed and destiny led me to those things. I puffed my first ever Stevia which helped me stay awake.
Oh. And I also entered and won the BTS costume contest. How? I don’t know. I came into it confident I would win, but the duo of girls in the clown wigs (which is what I wanted to originally wear) had so much energy that I basically thought they were in. To my surprise it was me. I was chosen to be the victor. Sometimes when you know you’re going to win, you shouldn’t doubt it and just let the chips land where they may.
I guess I can be a little Cruella DeVille when it comes to my tenacity to get what I want. Her crazy driving is exactly what I do when I book, pack for, and fly to see the guys. She doesn’t hold back and neither do I with my impulses. And yes it’s gotten me into financial trouble. I wish I was as rich as Cruella!
To this added boldness, I went ahead and pruned my much needed follower/ee list. I don’t want followers, I want friends on my social media. It felt brave and bold to do that too. I’m just placing myself out there and being bold and daring. One could argue that I’ve been quite Gryffibdor this year.
So that’s the end of my 2023 October. Unless there’s anything new, which I hope there isn’t. I want to end this month calmly please.
And so begins my journey into 3D.
41. I never in my life expected to see Jung Kook’s half naked, full torso all-out tattooed sweaty glowing body in front of me as he emerges from the shower for a precious four seconds. Working out and on the floor?! The universe is signaling my life’s green light for sure. I’m starting to win!! November is truly a month to be thankful for. I’m going to do what I want, when I want. That’s the golden rule baby. Also, Koo said something that resonates: “before I met you I wasn’t much. But after meeting you I think that I can be something incredible.”
Thank you to all of BTS for changing my life. I’m ready for 3D. More!
42. It’s only the second day of December and I already have “unexpected things” lined up. I’ll keep it simple.
I never expected to go to my first Christmas party. At a mansion.
43. I never expected to consume cardamom and star anise herbs through tea. Things just sort of happen and are introduced to me by way of me making a first move. I invested in a high-end tea line where I consumed “Bombay tea” (description below)
I call this the domino manifestation effect. You do something and unexpected outcomes come back to you.
44. This year I became the queen of crafting.
I never expected to craft anything at all!
(Insert puppy painting)
45. I never expected to be part of my work’s group chat. I never expected to take part in my work group’s activity. I distanced myself so I wouldn’t have to answer for the times when I get sick and call off. However, I do want to be included as part of the team. I am more or less prepared to socialize at a party. I’ve started giving breaks. Since I’m set on retiring here, I may as well have good rapport with my team. It’s a good social experiment! I’m even buying Girl Scout cookies 🍪
46. I am RM. A Reading Monster
In addition to the colossal book that is the Priory, I’ve burned through so many books and am still in the middle of reading around 3 books at a time. I’ve read sooooooo much this year.
47. I never ever expected that Hybe would re-release the Artist Made Merch, and that it would be a stable sale. That’s a good and bad thing. The good thing is that I am getting Hybe-certified non-counterfeit, official Artist Made Merch with guaranteed quality and at face value. I’m getting what I didn’t get before!
The bad thing is that I acted like a rich Moses (son of the Pharos’ daughter vibes) and bought TWO of nearly everything. I got a second windchime (to add symmetry to my room), another* “V-irkin” bag (just because I love the bag), and a second Suga Notebook because the first one helped me so much.
Jung Kook’s second mood lamp purchase had to happen because I want full coverage of my ceiling. I sound like a rich ARMY. I wish I could be this rich. Anyway, I can always cancel because these things aren’t coming until the middle of next year. At least I secured the bag. Literally.
Hybe def mind-screwed me, because I just said to my friend the night before that I would never spend another centavo on Hybe because my men already went to the military. What else could they have that I want? The psychologist-marketing behind Hybe reverse uno-carded all of us because they knew from the beginning it would be a vulnerable time. They set us up years ago with the Sell-out Hunger Games.
When they started Re-selling their old albums I let my guard down, thinking there would be nothing left to buy after the Black Friday Massacre. Then I under-estimated them even more, because I believed that their selling “furniture” like a Namjoon inspired charcuterie board with no PC was the end of their reign as gangsters against my Chase account. I was and am wrong.
And so ends the Weverse Mastercard Massacre. Good or bad? W or L?
48. It’s a total and pleasant surprise that my favorite uncle flew in to see us for the holidays. By favorite I just mean the one I’m closest with. 99 percent of my uncles are great. So he’s here for the holidays (Christmas and New Year). I’m really happy because his visit is raising the energy of our house. We’re going out and doing things as a family. And I love that. This was a totally pleasant surprise. I’m actually blessed to have two uncles come and see us. Healthy relationships are the best.
For Christmas we all went out to the zoo, then we went to eat my family’s favorite samyupsal egg noodles at Chinatown, and tried Tiger Sugar Boba too. I gifted my uncle a hydration set (because he’s so awesome at cycling), a keropi shirt for my brother, sunglasses and a hat for dad, and a hat and mittens for mom. I impulse bought a cute yellow backpack for myself. I left Chinatown with Joseon Dynasty cream and a lip stain (both impulse buys). It’s the holidays! The last of the Tobers! So I’m eating and celebrating it all.
I can’t believe we’re now in the last week of 2023. I hope better things come my way, and that I have an even greater time at life. Stay tuned!
What’s the big overarching theme of 2023?
It’s that I stopped germinating and began growing through my growth mindset. It hasn’t been a steady incline, but the fact is that I’m always moving upward and onward (even with my setbacks). I did a lot of stuff this year. I made many friends and went to many social gatherings. I attended almost every social gathering for cupsleeve events. I won contests. I had a spurt of religious services. I did some pagan bucket list things (naur). I began taking a more active role in my job (being more present, socializing, sitting in the break room, being in charge). I enjoyed an entire summer of water parks and came out like light toast.
I processed (and am continuing processing) all the changes that BTS and I have overcome. I’m surprisingly getting over my insomnia (my goodness). I went to the global citizen festival in NYC and stayed in NJ. Other surprising things happened (mid level). I was part of a bridal team. I read over a thousand pages and multiple books. I mastered embroidering and even crochet a whole chimmy ball. I got a puppy (wow). I painted. I overcame my injured ankle and survived a really bad cold. I took on charge roles at work, and am facing it head on this year. I reconnected with my secondary family members. Earlier this year I went to a Suga concert with distant friends. I made so many new moots and friends (I know I said this before).
There’s so much that happened this year that it feels like it didn’t happen. Lately my timing has been totally off. It’s so off that I mix my days up, and days move faster and slower depending on my brain functioning. I even religiously journalized half of this year and I talked about it too. The guys all had their debuts; I became a full out JIMIN stan and also got closer to Yoongi too. There was a ton of laughter and tears this year. I wrote and sent around 30 love notes to the guys in Hangul. I made my own posters. I did stuff! I wasn’t always in bed. In fact, bed days were minimal!
I celebrated the rabbit year with some cool events in the beginning and also made wishes for everyone and myself. It’s still five days before the year ends. I want to get over my insomnia, attend a service, do some light hobbies, and really be present in my own life. I told my cousin I need a break from BTS. And I think it’s ok to let their hands go too. I was hoping to finish Mikrokosmos, and I finished a saga this year. Five days. What can I do in five days? It’s mostly work.
And work is good because money is good and it gets me out of my head. Five days.
49. And as a grand finale…
I never expected to be eating grapes under a table at the countdown to 2024. I never expected to be having a grapes-war with my uncle. It’s not really that (about there being only enough luck for one person), it’s about the energy you bring. I hope all our wishes come true.
So I’m going to end the year holding a cup of grapes under my table, and begin my year eating these grapes under my table. My friend Katherine is adamant about me doing it, and so I will. So what are my wishes?
- I wish to get rid of my insomnia
- I wish to keep my job
- I wish to stabilize my health
- I wish to meet and marry the love of my life
- I wish to be wealthy
- I wish to be healthy
- I wish to be beautiful
- I wish to thrive and have a golden era
- I wish for my Mikrokosmos to manifest for me
- I wish for my parents health
- I wish for my dogs health
- I wish to be happy
Yeah. These are more or less the things I’ll be thinking of as I swallow every sour grape. It’ll happen because why not?
123!
Hana, dul, sept!
Jeonin & Majuning 
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