I usually shop online as part of my dopamine-serotonin therapy. But I looked at all outlets: Weverse, Amazon, and temu. I found nothing pressing of note. I have everything I want and need. I even have a boyfriend. And my family. Now an extra dog addition to the family. My job who takes it easy on me.

I have all the books that I want. I even have new clothes. Really, I have it all.

Except mental health, mobility, money, and a yearning for something more. I want to be a step above where I am, and vibrating so high that menial problems are below me and undetectable. So vibrational that I consider wonderful things as a possibility in my vast head space. And what’s possible becomes probable, depending on my drive. I want an oyster of possibilities.

What’s on the other side of the fence? More.

I could use more friends; more available friends. I want everything that I have, plus money and minus debt. I want baseline me 2018: adventurer, vacations, Chicago broadway, massages, and luxury bath houses without a dare or thought of the expenses.

I want what I have minus the insomnia and plus the mental health stability. Plus physical aptitude to ride a bike, run, and dance without a second thought to it.

The grass on the other side is indeed greener on the other side. Everything that I want in addition to what I have is beneficial and helpful to me (because I’ve had it once before).

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This particular hue consumes you. It turns your skin green and renders it unrecognizable because of your overwhelming emotion or cut throat drive. It’s associated with the relentless pursuit of money money and jealousy. Maybe this type of green is what they refer to when they say “it isn’t any better on the other side”.

As Hobi says, I want more. Mikrokosmally more. What shade is that? Jade perhaps?

Only time will tell, once time gives me the green light. Go go go.