Wow I’ve reached my 23rd post in this series! This entry should be the Michael Jordan slam-dunk kind of post that sums up my journey of writing song prompts from TXT’s ACT: Lovesick tour.

I’ll comment on the above, and then I’ll tell you all my future goals!

It’s still Thursday and not Friday right now. I’m actually sleeping before midnight.

So you must wait until tomorrow to read some substance! Good night Thursday 

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The following Saturday……

Aw crickey it is currently 2:41 AM and I’m wide awake, tossing and turning with my eyes closed. I figured I’d come on here, because writing is my long-time solace (that turned into a hobby once my dramatic life stabilized). It is yet another sleepless night, so why not write?

Thursday’s child indeed has a long way to go. I need to get a handle on this roaring insomnia that plagues me. I often say it’s a priority, but besides overdosing on meds I don’t talk to my doctor as I should. I’ll send a distress message (or two) to make an appointment and perhaps get some magical pill to knock me out.

What else would I like to work on?

My diet, of course. I did so well last year. And it’s okay that I slipped. I’m young and can start all over again. I aim to eat more vegetables and chicken/Turkey/fish. Jimin knows all to well how I love steak and mashed potatoes , but my cholesterol knows better. My GP and LD are other appointments I need to make.

What else?

I think those are two excellent goals. Why? Because I’ve come so far. I deserve to relax a bit (albeit not too much).

“I’ve come so far.”

My emotional life stabilized and I healed my broken heart from past chronic romantic breakups. Okay, I’m single now. But I’m ok and I don’t feel so desperate to get into a relationship. Desperation leads to bad decisions. I’ve matured and grown into someone who is fairly confident in being a healthy partner (this time around).

I’ve also come so far in terms of accepting the hand I was dealt: a chronic illness (that also dips me and deludes me). At first I was utterly depressed (as I should’ve been). Then I was frustrated. Then struggling. But honestly, I handled everything pretty well. I went to my doctor appointments, religiously took my medications, and I entered therapy multiple times.

I do everything I possibly can to manage my condition, even if some things fall through the cracks. I’m compassionate and empathetic with myself. And most of all, I’ve been blessed with family and friends that support me and accept me for how I am. I’ve come so far.

The fruits of the above two achievements have given me two things: peace and hobbies.

By hobbies, I now explore the world simply because I am compelled by my own interests, and not as a means to cope. I read. I go to places. I write. I take care of myself. I do all these things because of pure enjoyment. It’s so wonderful to go out and do things (or stay home) without the nagging feeling of a problem over my head.

Everything I do, I do out of interest and passion. Which brings me to inner peace. You’ve read before how much I prize such a thing I haven’t had. It’s amazing. It truly is. I wonder if this is what people who smile like Jung Kook feel. It’s carefree, and relaxed. Peace provides the sort of calm that really uplifts one’s eyes and smile. I can tell by my pictures how well I’m doing. My smile is genuine, and my eyes don’t look sad.

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It’s 3:01 on a Saturday. That means I still have far to go. I’d love to connect myself spiritually, and I hope that this is a shorter road than it is far. All my higher ups tell me to pray. And I did, twice. It would feel nice to worship and thank my higher power. Perhaps that’s the key to brightening my smile even more.

And instead of judging those in my church, perhaps I can open my eyes to see that people are people. Some people are tired because they try, and not necessarily because they’re unhappy. And some are naturally inquisitive. It’s hard to switch a feeling overnight. I have a ways to go.

But hey! I’m cognizant and I’m trying. That’s great.

Of course there’s a few other things: financial stability being one of them. Yeah. That’s a shadowy priority that I must be cognizant of as well.

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I had hoped this post would be passionate, lively, and inspirational. The title of TXT’s song certainly inspired me to try. Reading through it all, I believe that todays post is more reflective than it is groundbreaking.

I am Thursday’s child. I am both: I’ve come so far and I have far to go.

Let’s celebrate the “I’ve come so far” part. I don’t want to tire myself by thinking of all the future things I will accomplish. It’s about flow (yet another theme in my life).

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Hm. It’s around 5PM in Korea. For the guys that are still in the country— I hope you are finding your peace. And those who traveled outwards— may peace and safety follow you too. And for me? I’d like to meet you all, and feel the love from all of you. You’re my Byeols.

Let’s meet each other soon. I’ll receive you with all my heart. Thank you for helping me move forward. Whether it’s this universe or the other, we’re bound by that red string. And I’m blessed for it.

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So, this post is beginning to get tangential, and that’s a cue for me to relax and stop writing.

Whoever is struggling with insomnia: team US. We can do this. As a collective humanity can do this. Let’s live a life of peace and love.

“Gud mo’ning. Gud day. Gud nite” – Park Jimin