Time is priceless, time is money, time can be spent well or wasted. Time moves forward whether you decide to spend it or waste it. This is the life long lesson that until now I see that I struggle with. It isn’t just my illness placing a veil over my sense of time. It’s also people that I allow to take up my head space.

There’s good people (BTS) and mfs. My verbal tryst with the latest mf I ran into stole all of my July. It’s now August and I’m just now truly coming out of the cave. Years fly by. I haven’t given much thought to what I specifically want in my life: a good husband, a baby, a house, debt free. I haven’t given thought to any of these things. Yes my illness is a handicap, but even when I’m well I choose to be a hedonist.

Years fly by.

I don’t regret the past two years of healing that I needed to do. But now I’m at an impasse, I have a chance to set myself up to be able to think about my future. By setting myself up: I mean doing the things it takes to make my life and self more of an adult. Anything at this point. All of this while simultaneously dipping my toes into the valid dating scene. Prayer doesn’t hurt. Katherine used a love spell, some people manifest, but I was born a Christian.

Tick tock.