I have never once started a post singularly around one picture but this is the one. He’s the one. Artists these days take the best pictures of my man. This captures so much dark and shadow and I love it like I love him.

So what’s been up with me? I’ve been trying to be a genuine person. I’ve done well so far, but there are still things about me that need pruning. I’m anti-dramatizing. I am being my compassionate self. I’m thoughtful, like my dad says. And I’ve sort of just been going with the flow of things.

I admit my energy hasn’t been the highest when I want it to be (I had so go home early from a cupsleeve and didn’t show my most rainbow self). KC tells me to draw back. So I’ve just been doing me. Taking my meds on time, smashing my skin care (has it been 90 days?) and also trying my best to do my best at my job. Sleep. I’ve been sleeping and in my world that’s more than anyone can ask for of me.

I started a new hobby of learning Spring Day on the kalimba. The kalimba has been on my bucket list for a few years. I’m also almost done romanizing Spring Day. I’m trying to consciously support my dad by calling him, spending awake conversations in the car, and doing what I can so he’s not alone. He isn’t alone because he has me and his dogs. And my mom.

I still haven’t been working on Mikrokosmos. I haven’t bought anything official (like Hobi’s album) or other merch. It’s kind of been a slow year for me doing all that fan stuff. I’m more than just a fan, as we will both learn this year.

I slowed down on learning Korean but am planning to put some structure to it. Its easy to become disinterested, but this is something I want to do. And I want to do it even if I don’t feel like it. Like skin care, or inevitably Mikrokosmos.

I’ve approached my other hobbies with more ease: just picking it up whenever I want to. There’s things I need to get done. Those will come when I have enough energy.

I’m thinking about going on vacation for my birthday. I want to go to a theme park and play. I want to be in the sun and the pool and in hot weather.

I’ve resigned myself to not calling off at work because I want to make more money. More money more power more events more happiness. More work more exercise more opportunity to make myself better.

I have so many books to read, and I’m picking them up casually as I go. I’m still trying to keep up with my friends and whatnot. It’s been a weird semi-vacation for me because I spent most of it supporting my extended family (and most importantly my dad).

We’re going to Chinatown tomorrow to eat his favorite noodles after his doctor appointment. I’ll try to get us to walk a little. Then I have to go home and wash off this entire month from my body.

When will I ever get to Mikrokosmos? I don’t know. Some part of me is calling myself to re-read it so that I can have the energy to finish my last saga. It’s just an idea. The other one is to just write (and I don’t like that. Neither does Namjoon).

I’m going to buy a few clothes. And I think the things I want will come to me. I’m salient about it. I’m just ever so thankful that I’m not running on depression. My mood has thankfully been okay. I’m okay.

What else? There’s the whole dating thing and I believe that’ll come too. I don’t have to chase. I do have to do things in alignment with who I want.

So yeah: synopsis:

1. Kalimba

2. Romanizing

3. Supportive family role

4. Sleep by 11

5. Structuring Korean

6. Working

7. Skin care wins