Katherine who is my friend of 5 years gave me a 4 month-belated birthday gift. It’s a book about a normal girl who gets swept into the kpop idol world, catching her idol dream boyfriend even before she knew it was possible. Katherine said it reminded her of me.

Me. The comeback. I am making a debut and a comeback into my life. It’s going to be a new chapter that unfolds, and it’ll be amazing. Will I shoot my shot at Jung Kook? Of course I will.

As an ARMY, I am confident that a large majority of us have wished to be Her, Y/N, or at the very least had a fantasy about it. And for me, most of all these wishes are my hearts desire. Label it what you may, even call me a D word. At least I admit it.

For me, the word comeback means “coming back” from a dark time in my life. It means rebounding from the ground to new heights.

In a sense I’ve already started my personal comeback, right when I decided to stop germinating (which is defined as being static just to heal) and start living forward (defined as moving, in any shape or in any way).

So that’s me, making a comeback for myself and to myself. These past few months have been more or less successful. Variation is the spice of life so sometimes I drop the balls. Yes, multiple balls. I’m working on my sleep, nutrition, happiness, wealth, beauty, and thriving. This is all a culmination of my debut into the next chapter of my life.

There is a quote that rings true to me, and it is this:

This is where I’m headed. This is the door I’m passing through as I make my comeback. I’m ready to meet new people, make new relationships, live my life in new settings, change my story, and learn (hopefully happy) lessons. I’m ready.

I am ready to debut.

But as Yoongi says in their book, debuting simply leads back to the practice studio. We debut, only to make more comebacks. We continue to create more things and make new chapters. That’s what BTS is about, and that’s what I’m going to be about too. I’m going to do it, no matter how much nostalgia hurts me.

As that army in their “Love Letter” song sang, it’s easy to feel blue about the past. We don’t want to move on from such magical chapters. Jung Kook responds by talking about not being sad about starting a new chapter.

I’m referring to this morning when he was crying along with us as he listened to a song these ARMY’s posted, but in the end— he said:

What kind of star in my life do I want to be? I want to thrive, be beautiful, be happy, be wealthy, and be healthy. This is the kind of person I want to be. And it’s a practice.

So here is my new thing: I’m going to be healthier, happier, wealthier, thriving, and more beautiful. That’s the character I’m choosing to be in my new chapter! I’ll keep trying as I experience natural setbacks, but this effort will transform me anyway, because “I am the me” that I want to be. And I don’t want to be alone. I want to have new people enter and re-enter my life to be part of my team. Part of my universe.

I haven’t finished Mikrokosmos volume 1, and I’m simultaneously living out volume 2. And I want to reach for the stars in both timelines. Namjoon’s speech is the mindset that I’m adopting.

Here it is. I’ll leave you here with one of the most important speeches I’ve heard in my life. It’s from Namjoon.

These words, whether written by him or pdogg or the kpop universe: these words are important. And I will strive to live by them.

“Everything you did will be exactly what you will be”

This year, ten years after they debuted, is the year I will debut. Hwaiting!

(Also, I hope you make a comeback too. Because I love you!).

I am ready for you guys. So come back to me!! 🪷💐🌸