The themes of circular life events and ghosting have arisen due to someone from my past and someone from my present: both are previous boyfriends.

My end goal is to move forward. I initially thought moving forward means making a clean cut: forget and block (not block, but not respond.)

Then my cousin surprised me. She said “I don’t understand why people block each other. I don’t do it.” So her thoughts opened up the realization that this go-to ghosting method might be overused. At least in certain situations.

I still believe that you should block those who are bad for your mental health. I don’t believe in blocking those who didn’t do anything wrong.

And so, I’ve come full circle. I’ve decided not to run forward, or hide, or be silent. The discussion with Paul is going to hurt. It’s basically a debridement of scars. With Jose, it’s done in order to continue helping him with his health and happiness. Even if we’re both broken up. I care.

So yes. I’m closing this circle. Finalizing. No more circular habits that lead to circular experiences. I’m moving on for myself.

When it’s done, I’ll walk away happily. I’ll run toward my bright future, with the man who’s meant for me. Mikrokosmos. To a new life!

A few days later….