Hobi.

Are you being your authentic self? I started worrying about you a while ago, but things in my life have been so hectic that I forgot until today. Today I saw you dancing and it looks like you barely eat.

I’m sorry that the company is pushing you so hard to change your image, just for us. It’s a persona, a new view, a new mask. I can tell that you’re stressed trying hurry and smash yourself into a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit.

But you’re doing a great job, and I’m still sorry that it’s a hard job.

I’m here with you, even if I’m far away. I think of you. I’m relieved that you’re going to the military. I know they’ll encourage you eat three times a day. And it’s probably going to be great to be out of public view for a while.

And Jin is with you, hopefully in the same area. Anyway, I hope that these next two years are therapeutic and healing for you. You tried your best for 10 years, and I wish that they had given you a break instead of pushing you to debut first.

You’re a strong member of the team. You actually came to Chicago to see me and I missed it. That’s okay. It only means we have to meet in person the next time.

When I was having the worst time, I suddenly broke down and cried for hours. My heart was frustrated and breaking. I tried to hard to make everything right. But the fate was against me, so I cried. And it felt better. Especially the people I love were with me.

I hope that you get a chance to cry it out. You look like you’re on the brink of tears some days. I want us to hug. It’ll be okay.

What I’m trying to say is— it’s hard to take care of yourself especially when others are pushing you to be your best all the time.

Privacy is what you need. I really sincerely hope that you get a real break before you enlist. I hope you follow Namjoon and do things that make yourself feel like yourself.

That’s all I want for you— is a nice break in Gwangju, Hawaii, at home, in bed, on the sofa, on your phone, in the hot shower, and with your loved ones. I want you to experience the real you, without having to be J-Hope of BTS.

Or even J-Hope the solo artist.

Hoseok. Just Hoseok.

You’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You were the first person I noticed and my puppy love bias. You’re so… I love you.

And as Jung Kook (who I know annoys the hell out of you) says: “Be happy bro. Please be happie.”

Peace first, happiness next.

You’re beautiful. It’s true. Just you. Be you.