What the hell is this Blue that’s trying to take over me? It’s like a creeping shadow that has the urge to overtake me again. And for no good reason at all. (Not that I want to give it ‘a reason’. My life is fine thank you).

Could it be my brain chemicals doing the loopty-loo or my hormones entering the party? Darkness at 4PM and bed-ridden-ess definitely contribute to the blue shadow that plagues me so. I was fine when I was on vacation !

Then I flew home and caught a mysterious thighs-on-fire 101 degree fevered virus. I wouldn’t call it a cold even though I was congested. I had a fever and was unconscious for most of the week; and barely conscious when I was awake. I was a half asleep zombie with no color at all.

Today is the first day I saw any sort of light in my brain. And the Watch Tower up in my brain is ringing the warning bells for an oncoming tidal wave. O no.

What to do, what to do.

Sleep more and on time. Eat healthier. Minimize stress. Onward with family and friends. Exposure to outside life. Rest when needed or wanted. What else?

I keep saying this shit and I barely do them. Ugh.

Regardless, I don’t want the Blue to touch me, not even my toes. People say feeling Blue is normal and a part of life. But my life is more sensitive to ‘this normalcy’. And it’s not a trough I want to be in. Because those dips get so…unproductive.

Sleep for now. Jimin style.