We interrupt your “normal” circadian rhythm with the announcement that you won’t see BTS as BTS until 2025. – SK govt

They say it takes two years before you make it or break it in a relationship, BTS and I started out in 2020, and until now I’m more in love with them than ever. Yes. It’s a relationship.

They made me happy and helped me heal for two years. Is it time to move on? Never. I mean, I won’t forget and I’ll always love them. In 2025; who knows where I’ll be.

Is it possible to do that pan-love? I’m probably still single because they make me so happy. And I wonder if my fan-love will fade with a new boyfriend. Or will it transform into something else? Because real love stays, throughout the changes.

It’s 426 and I’m more awake now than ever. I might even go all the way. It isn’t because they announced enlistment plans. It’s because I ran out of my pills. I’m remedying that by talking to everyone I need to, to help me out.

I’m in the dark. I ate something. I drank something. Then I’ll hit myself with another 50 of Benadryl and close my eyes.

Back to BTS. Their June announcement hurt worse than this one. Or maybe Namjoon was preparing me for the big bomb. And I somehow saw this coming. Did they?

“You have to trust me.” Namjoon 1 and 2 echo in my heart. Trust the process; trust the change. Perhaps that’s what the universe wants. I’ve always (albeit had tough time) been blessed to somehow stay afloat. With the way my life is unraveling, I wonder if their exit-hiatus is well timed for me, personally.

I really have to finish Mikrokosmos. Not have to, but— it’s there. (⬅️ afterthought)

Anyway, Korea and Busan deserved their final concert. And I’m so happy I saw them as many times as I could. I’m so happy my last pre-enlistment concert with them was amazing. These memories are near and dear to me. I never want to forget the feeling.

I respect BTS. I love them. I’m thankful for them in my life. And as Whitney Houston once said… “and I will always love you.”

So what now? I wonder with calmness about what is yet to come.

Once again, I love you with all my heart BTS. All my heart.