OF THORNS. I expected this post to be something along the lines of optimistic; such as cheering myself on for doing regal things (leadership, whatnot).

And now I’m here at 1:42 AM confronting my relig—I can’t even say it, because it’s been the source of my —I can’t say that either. I don’t want to blaspheme even though that’s the least of my worries.

I’m prone to anxiety, but somehow tonight was different and I reached out to someone who cares about me and my faith., in general. Maybe it’s easier to be candid at 1 in the morning. It’s the time when your brain isn’t subject to whatever stress molecules keep you avoidant and holding back.

I just hope I can stay this brave to handle the probably-stressful conversations. I can’t run, nor should I run, forever.

More later: for now, sleep.

---

Some time has passed as I resume this post…

I’m trying my best to handle everything with grace and calm. I want to make myself proud of me. So— grace.