In a perfect world we would all give each other the courtesy of sharing parting words before we part ways. But this isn’t perfect, and the way people do it these days is to simply ghost each other. It can feel emotionally painful, but at the end of the day it’s our personal choice and freedom to speak or remain silent. Sucks.

Sometimes it’s near impossible to ghost someone even if you want to. For me it was impossible because I was stuck in a non-English speaking country and my only lifeline was my ex-bf and his 6 room mates who are basically family to me. There’s that. But we usually have a choice.

I’ve ghosted people and it’s been done to me, way earlier than when there was even a term for it. Is ghosting moral? Depends. I used to be more deontological about these things, but that was back when I was innocent and non-realistic. Now it’s like; there are times when certain violences are warranted. (Calling ghosting violence is overdoing it— let’s just say it’s in “poor taste”.). Poor taste is warranted.

And violence? There’s things I’ll never be 100% ok with, like murder for protection (defense, war, capital punishment), even though I know these things are necessary.

Ghosting isn’t murder. That ⬆️ was just a tangential thought. If you’ve read me before you know I take liberties with doing that. I’m all over the damn place.

Overall, I think we should avoid ghosting people and treat each other with as much courtesy as possible. If you’re ending a volatile and terrible relationship, ghosting does seem like an easy way out rather than saying “I think we should separate ways.” But sometimes ghosting = safety. By all means ghost, before you become one yourself. (Creepy advice but you know it’s true).

Do what you think is right, mindful, and healthy for you. Prioritizing others with courtesy is choosing is the high road, but who’s to say choosing yourself isn’t higher?

My point is: let’s act in a manner that’s consistent with ourselves, and decide what’s best for us as the situation allows. Ghosting is— sometimes needed. I don’t like admitting that. But if you can send some positive energy out there by officially separating ways with those who (more or less) deserve it, do so.

Let’s just be peaceful to ourselves and choose peace too.

Good night.