The other day I saw the movie “Everything, everywhere all at once.” It’s about the concept of parallel universes where many versions of you exist. These versions live totally different lives under the assumption that you made choices different from your own, right now.

In the movie the protagonist’s “Alpha-verse” life showed her version as a kung-fu master. She excelled in everything that she did.

If I were to put myself into this line of thinking, I would say that I’m in the theta-verse. Theta waves are way down the wave-alphabet. They’re not alpha, not beta, but not omega. In terms of brain activity it’s the wave that is seen between consciousness and sleep. Not much is happening.

Every time I catch up with friends I have nothing new to update them on. At least, there’s nothing “culturally relevant” to talk about. I don’t have a new job, new relationship, or even new hobbies. To be honest it’s not as drone as it seems at all. There’s that 90’s commercial saying: “no news is good news.” After a life lived in drama, passion and what-ever-else-not, I’m rather happy to be chillin.

I’m ok germinating. It’s nice to wake up every day without financial troubles, relationship heartaches, or any other stressors. Damn, my life is pretty pressure-free. And I love it. Rather than happiness, I choose peace.

Not that “peace” and “happiness” can’t be the same thing, or that they necessarily even have to be opposites. I’m just saying that peace is something I never had before, and I’ve always taken this unseen-state of being for granted. Peace is amazing. Inner peace, outer peace. It’s a chill, stress-free life. I’m living in the theta-verse.

I do have a nagging feeling that nothing is happening though. There are no major changes in my life- no relationships or even goals. Those things require gambling ones’ peace. Am I ready to come out of my little bubble?

As I’ve said, it took maybe 20 plus years before I even had a shot at this. Before I even gave myself this opportunity for emotional chilling. So I’m not eager to give it up yet. I want to spend days at the cafe reading my books, “catching up” with my friends, writing, and loving BTS.

I don’t want to be paying mortgages, working things out with a new partner, being pregnant, making more money. Those things that people say yield happiness also take a lot of work. And I’m anti-work. I’m pro-vacation. Pro-INFP lifestyle. I’m pro-flow. REST.

That’s all I want. And I hope to find a life partner that wants the same things—- to live a peaceful and absorbent life. Namjoon get at me. You’re my twin flame. Isn’t it about time to show yourself?

When that does happen— when Namjoon does enter my life, would one still say that I am still in the theta-verse? Or would it have shifted to alpha or some other alphabet-verse? If it’s him, I’m ready. 🌻